They didn't realize what I was smiling about.
Partly their charm...but, my serious doubt...

Waitresses in the restaurants...

You want a menu?
'No, a john. You ever seen a blouse cut this low? '
You gonna eat?
'This is a restaurant. You're going to have children, aren't you.'
You gonna eat here?
'Why? There's something I should know first? '
You're not from around here, are you.
'Sure I am. Got a spit cup? '

Billy Bobs...

If a tobacco chewing, coveralled, John Deere-cap-wearing man gives you directions...turn left on his rights. And right on his lefts.

Aw now, you kin sit'n hava Coke while ah splain...
'Uh no. I'm late for my probation revocation hearing.'
Naw, jes foller that road till that funny, oak tree...
'And,400 miles from here, where to next, Bubba? '
Yep. Got used tires. That bulge don't mean nuthin, young lady...
'Young? I'm old enough to kill you and get aquitted. Now get that tire
off my car! '
We got corn land, meat cattle. Miss Effie makes quilts...
'Let me repeat this. How far to Jacksonville, Florida? '
We got good roads, churches. Can't beat Miss Effie's cakes...
'Got a womans' prison? '

They were all good people,
Young and old...that's good
Memories...and why they've
Been told.

elysabeth faslund

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/funny-people-still-my-quotes-part-3-humor/