Look at me, I'm a mah-ve-lous cat.
I'm stalking the elephanormous mouse.
I'm curling my tail, flexing my nails...
Look at them gleam in my pretty-purr paws.
You'd call them claws.
But, oh not me.
I'm a mah-ve-lous cat.

Heavens to tuna, feed me on time.
I don't get about much outside.
When I gaze at a sparrow
My eyes scrunch narrow...
But for the glass, I'd squirm through the screen.
You'd call that mean.
But, oh not me.
I'm a mah-ve-lous cat.

Don't think bath, I dislike wet.
I don't like dribbleglop fur.
I thoroughly hate a suds-slinging date...
If I hear the water, I'll tear-carpet-dash.
You'd view me as rash.
But, oh not me.
I'm a mah-ve-lous cat.

You went to the store, forgot the catnip.
I guess I'll forgive you this time.
I hope by this weekend, my nerves are not shriekin...
Or maybe all blue-pressed, temper up-jumpy.
You'd call that grumpy.
But, oh not me.
I'm a mah-ve-lous cat.

You muse what it's like to be a cat.
Not all-every human can know.
So, I will tell you, (won't even bell you) ...
It's one part the ham, with overtures of trouble.
A heaping of purr, add inquisitive. Double.
Triple parts 'pet me', then let me lone-be.
Motherhood...God's whiskers! ...blend in carefully.

And, oh yes, you.
But I've no mood for mush.
I'm sleeping now...HUSH!

Oh, I'm a mah-ve-lous cat.

elysabeth faslund

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/mah-ve-lous-cat-humor/