Why go on a diet, when you...
Know ice cream will freezer burn.
If you DON'T buy the Milky Way bar...
That company will close down tomorrow.
Don't feed the chickens tonight...
They're stuffed with bugs anyway.
Why be scared of lightning strikes...
People live afterwards, sometimes.
Don't sweat the arraignment...
Your lawyer lies better than you.
Why be alarmed at sirens and lights...
The serial killer surrendered next door.
Why bother with casinos...
Just write a check to the Gaming Commission.
Don't even bother with coffee...
Ice cubes down your bra works just fine.
Read your book. Ignore the open window...
Your Great Dane will bury the body.
Go to an 'all you can eat' buffet...
You know your fluid pills work wonders.

elysabeth faslund

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/give-yourself-a-break-who-else-will-humor/