At the Hall of Anorexia, the Superficial Friends (Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and the twins, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen) are watching SuChin Pak on MTV News as she brings tragic news from Club Superficial: everyone at the club has gotten crabs, thanks to Captain Crabs (the 70s Show's Wilmer Valderrama). Unfortunately, Lohan is among them, having gotten them from a dirty bathroom bang at a truckstop. Crabs speeds away in Herbie, one step closer to his goal: to give everyone the venereal disease, so they can only have sex with him. The girls catch up to him at Hugh Hefner's Playboy Mansion, to learn that Crabs' crabs, through so much sex with skanky girls, have genetically mutated. A quick-thinking Richie points out that no one can out-skank the Supersluts, and, with the help of some jumper cables to their vaginas, they channel their skanky energy into a laser that blasts through Crabs' shell, ending his reign of skanky terror.