I want to become a victim
I don't care about the minor details of from or of what
Just as long as I survive it long enough
To spend all the free government money being thrown at me.
Allow me to lay it all out.
I want to be compensated for being a victim of social reform
I want a government check bi weekly.
I want it signed by the Treasurer,
And directly deposited into my tax free account.
I want one check a month just for being born.
Yet another check for living past the age of twenty one.
I want retro active rent control or a habitat
For humanity house for free.
As long as I don't have to pay it back, it's alright by me.
Add to that a Veterans package
With hospitalization and complete dental for my teeth.
Throw in a free prescription drug package.
And I'll be as happy as a fat lazy liberal can be.
And while you're at Mr. President.
Food stamps should be good for purchasing Jack Daniels
Gas should be free for anyone driving an older car
Our insurance should be paid by the good hands people
To cover all of our automotive and household grievances.
Then replace the Kools and Marlboros with high grade Marijuana.
That’s how the government can make the extra money
To give me the retirement package and Oxycontin I'll require
When I get off of Disability.
But I digressed
So back to my primary proposal and why I deserve all of this crap for FREE.
It is because damnit, I'm a proud American...and I have a right under our NEW AND LIVING CONSTITUTION....
To be treated like a victim just like every other citizen in this once great country!

2009 © T Sheridan

Ted Sheridan

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/i-wanna-be-a-victim-like-everyone-else/