I like that trusty Smith And Wesson,
the thirty-eight is very special
a forty-five, more powerful
is overkill and has no looks.
The same applies to mammaries
the line between a pretty sight
and scrambled emu eggs is fine.
About those legs, they may be spindly,
or bowed or x type, also hairy
it is the calf, near the achilles
that makes attractiveness appear.
And Sigmund, all of us are sorry
that you have faded from the scene
though you were right that every woman
who does not have inherent beauty
has penis envy, where she looks
in early morning in the hope
that one had grown there overnight.
May God allow me to keep gushing
all over those who grace this world
with smiles and loveliness of soul
not bitches who will stride with hatred
into a crowd assembled loosely
and wait in vain for some attention.

This is Australia, where racists live
not all have died yet and we choose
to shun the company of some
it is of course just honesty.
We don't condone the Irish curse
those people do have rivets missing
and are unsure about Iran
where Dubbya will make playground three
but when we see those bumblehornets
who cannot sing and cannot sting
we sit back snug in our chairs
and smile our bright, superior smile
do we feel sorry for the losers
I will not say, perhaps we do.

Herbert Nehrlich

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/ramblings-on-anzac-day/