The perfect woman is 3 feet high
She never speaks when her mouth is full
The top of her head is a flat plateau
To rest your Beer on, while she plays with your tool
And when your sack’s empty, to bed you will swagger
She turns into a sandwich and a six-pack of Lager.
Thus proving we have a feminine touch
Like yourselves, I don’t think we’re asking for much!

Reece Kaye

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/what-to-look-for-when-selecting-a-woman-for-fun/