Parenting: Dealing with Your Child Being Bullied - as part of the expert series by GeoBeats. Dealing with Your Child Being Bullied If the bullying is happening at school, please reassure your child that every school in the United States has an anti-bullying policy. And you really need to be in touch with the school if it’s happening at school or on the bus, because they are responsible for helping kids not bully each other. So, that would be the first thing is to reassure your child that adults in your world are not going to be continuing to put up with this. Now, sometimes kids say, “Well, I’m afraid to tell because I’m afraid the bully will come back after me.” And you have to jump over that, because if everyone stays silent, the bullying just continues and the bullies win, and that’s not what we want. The other thing to consider is that bullies are kids who feel insecure. You think it’s the opposite. You think it’s the kids who feel very powerful over other children are the bullies, but really they’re insecure if they have to bully somebody. Someone who feels secure does not have to bully other children. So, think in terms of compassion toward the bully, too, and help your child think in terms of compassion toward the bully, because they’re obviously hurting for one reason or another. And if there can be a bridge built between the child and the bully, that’s the best. So, if the school counselor or the school social worker or the school principal or the teacher can get these kids together in the same room and build a bridge to each other, help them see each other as human beings, that’s the best way to stop the bullying. Always be sure your child knows that he or she has your support if there is bullying, and that they do need to tell you if there is something going on. If you sense that something is going on, if suddenly your child is in a bad mood and you really just can’t tell why, ask gentle questions. “Did anything happen at school or on the bus that’s sort of hurt your feelings today?” An open-ended question like that is a really good way to get the story out of kids. Also, at a family meeting talk about bullying in general, and say, “If there’s ever any bullying, we want to hear about it,” so that it’s happening outside the time of the actual event if it does occur, so the groundwork is laid so kids know they can come to you if there’s a bullying experience. So, keep the dialogue open. Help the kids know that they’re being supported by the adults in their world. And see that bully as a human being who’s troubled in someway. And try to get a bridge built back to the kid who did the bullying. That way we don’t have to see a continuation of bullying, which actually has gotten to pretty epic proportions in the United States lately. The other thing is watch your own language about people who are different from you, because kids who are different are the ones who often get bullied. So, be sure that you show respect for kids with ADHD, any kind of physical handicap, Asperger’s, autism. Be sure that you’re always showing respect for those kids so that that sense that we get to attack people who are different from us dwindles in our society. Every single parent who does this with their children decreases the chance of bullying.