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Pick-up lines that just won't work

Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
(Look down at your crotch) Well, it's not going to suck itself
Hi, my name is ____. Don't forget it, because you'll be screaming it later on tonight.
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag
That shirt is very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away
I'm a necrophiliac. How good are you at playing dead?
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you
If you were a booger I'd pick you first
Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?