NEW SHIRT! -

Hey, there! Are you a human man? Are you wracked with guilt by the very circumstances of your birth? Fret not, my daft child, for today, we've got just the remedy! Here are some ways you can improve your life, be an ally to women, and stand up for what is right.

By the way, I'm back after escaping Twitter Jail. Turns out Jack's bodyguards aren't actually bodyguards. They're more like interns with frail bones and very poorly connected necks. You'd actually be shocked by how easy it was to Splinter Cell my way out of there. It was genuinely ridiculous. You'd think Twitter could afford people who's necks didn't crack so easy but I guess that's where we're at.

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