Who’s Allowed to Hold Hands?
We don’t hold hands around these parts of town." While a white lesbian couple could walk holding hands or even tongue
kiss in the middle of the street, lesbians of color, particularly black lesbians, have a hard time doing the same.
"You know bettah." That evening, my wife and I walked home without holding hands, and I had never felt so robbed.
But before my wife could say anything more, I tugged her arm
and said, "Just keep walking." My chest tightened and I felt helpless, reduced to a position of surrender like I would have been back home.
I felt outraged when this became more apparent to me, as an open femme, who can pass as straight —
the ultimate trigger for men who have a hard time accepting that women like us are out of reach.
A seemingly urban utopia populated by well-dressed transplants and those born and bred in the "do-or-die." But I would soon learn
that it is one thing to be black and lesbian in this urban utopia and another thing to act on it.
Modern Love By
NICOLE DENNIS-BENN
SEPT. 1, 2017
On our first date, I dared to give her a lingering hug on a crowded subway platform on West Fourth
Street, an unusual display of physical affection on my part, which I blamed on the wine.