How To Put Yourself First (Without Coming Off As A B*tch)
yourtango
2016-11-10
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Nowadays, you can't be nice to anyone without seeming like a total pushover. Whether it's in your love, school or work life, it almost seems as if the minute you stand firm in a decision, you're either ignored or labeled as a b*tch—Especially if you're a woman. In fact, it's pretty much assumed that being "lady like" does not include being honest, firm or direct in your opinions or beliefs.
That assumption is absolutely ABSURD.
Why is it so hard for women to stand up for themselves?
Ladies, if there's one message that you take away from author John Gray, YourTango's Senior VP Melanie Gorman, Divorce and Breakup Coach Lindsey Ellison, International Dating and Love Life Coach Suzanne Mueller-Heinz and Emotional Intelligence Renee Jain's advice, it's THIS: You should never push your needs aside for someone else. Ever.
According to The Greater Good Science Center, women are nurturers by nature. So we can blame science (and our genes) for making it really hard for us to say no to our partners without feeling bad.
The Greater Good Science Center also found that "these [nurturing] tendencies may have been evolutionarily adaptive since we have evolved in communities where women’s primary responsibility was raising and protecting offspring who needed protection while men traditionally engaged in hunting and warfare."
So how can we learn to set better boundaries in our own relationships?
Our Experts stress that even though we're genetically inclined to show more compassion than men, it doesn't mean that we absolutely must give up our own happiness for the sake of finding love or being accepted. And we couldn't agree more.
Trust us, their points on why being assertive—and most importantly, being yourself—can affect your life for the better will put everything into perspective. Because let's face it. Are you really willing to settle for a relationship where you can't even be yourself?
We certainly hope not.
Follow YourTango:
Web: http://www.yourtango.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/YourTango
Twitter: http://www.yourtango.com
Photo: http://weheartit.com/entry/162933680/
Nowadays, you can't be nice to anyone without seeming like a total pushover. Whether it's in your love, school or work life, it almost seems as if the minute you stand firm in a decision, you're either ignored or labeled as a b*tch—Especially if you're a woman. In fact, it's pretty much assumed that being "lady like" does not include being honest, firm or direct in your opinions or beliefs.
That assumption is absolutely ABSURD.
Why is it so hard for women to stand up for themselves?
Ladies, if there's one message that you take away from author John Gray, YourTango's Senior VP Melanie Gorman, Divorce and Breakup Coach Lindsey Ellison, International Dating and Love Life Coach Suzanne Mueller-Heinz and Emotional Intelligence Renee Jain's advice, it's THIS: You should never push your needs aside for someone else. Ever.
According to The Greater Good Science Center, women are nurturers by nature. So we can blame science (and our genes) for making it really hard for us to say no to our partners without feeling bad.
The Greater Good Science Center also found that "these [nurturing] tendencies may have been evolutionarily adaptive since we have evolved in communities where women’s primary responsibility was raising and protecting offspring who needed protection while men traditionally engaged in hunting and warfare."
So how can we learn to set better boundaries in our own relationships?
Our Experts stress that even though we're genetically inclined to show more compassion than men, it doesn't mean that we absolutely must give up our own happiness for the sake of finding love or being accepted. And we couldn't agree more.
Trust us, their points on why being assertive—and most importantly, being yourself—can affect your life for the better will put everything into perspective. Because let's face it. Are you really willing to settle for a relationship where you can't even be yourself?
We certainly hope not.
Follow YourTango:
Web: http://www.yourtango.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/YourTango
Twitter: http://www.yourtango.com
Photo: http://weheartit.com/entry/162933680/
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