Stand up straight!
Suck in that gut.
Eyes forward!
And you better not blink,
Or twitch a muscle!
Now repeat clearly...
And speak as if you want my attention!
Do not mumble!
If I detect you are...
You will begin again.
Staying put and in place until I determine I understand
What you want me to know!
Now Speak...

'Honey,
I'm glad you're home.
And I can tell you have served our country well!
But ALL I honestly want you to do,
Is relax.
These inspection routines before we have sex...
Has gotten a bit out of control!
I'm standing at attention butt naked!
And you look absolutely ridiculous wearing combat boots,
With a pith helmet and goggles!
Your wish to have this kind of foreplay every single night,
Has affected 'Mr. Johnson'!
And you have 'him' afraid to death to perform!
See...?
He looks like a turtle!
Trying like hell not to come out of his shell!
I'm not with this women in the military business at all!
And you have taken your squad leader position,
Far too seriously!
Don't you think?
These routines are not helping my performances at all! '

Lawrence S. Pertillar

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/you-have-served-our-country-well/