Because Christmas was her favorite holiday.
I remember laughing
with her while wrapping the oddly-shaped presents
she'd bought at K-Mart.
I remember the gifts 'from Santa'
which she'd sneak under our (very small) tree
in the middle of the night.
I remember when she climbed onto the wagon
just for me...
And I remember her face when she politely
declined a glass of spiced egg nog.
How loud her voice rang out
over all the dresses and ties and vacant eyes
when she yelled out 'Merry fucking Christmas'
at our last Christmas party together...
Make that her last Christmas party ever.
I remember her bright smiles
and how nobody knew the sadness
they covered up.

And for years to come,
I'll remember sitting with you
and drinking my Miller Light
and what my response was
when you asked me
why I wasn't smiling like usual.

Amanda Lukas

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/3-an-acquaintance-asked-me-why-i-wasn-t-smiling/