Thy beauty wouldst the very rose enjoy,
Although you've had a face-lift it's quite clear,
Yet, prithee, Madam, why art thou so coy,
You've just been voted 'bottom of the year'.
They stand and wait to gaze upon thy charms,
And pay five quid to get your autograph.
For thee, knights of the realm would take up arms,
I've seen you without make-up, what a laugh!
And yet tis I thou'st honoured with thy grace,
But only cos you know my dad is rich.
And none, thou vows, shall ever take my place,
I have my doubts, though. Life can be a bitch.

Upon thy beauty I'll ne'er cease to look.
But, bloody hell, I wish you'd learn to cook.

Terry Donovan

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/shakespeare-meets-ogden-nash/