twisting and turning
being dragged it seems
but by what
and what through
who is my attacker
where is he taking me
my attacker is me
i attack myself
with knives and daggers
fire and razorblades
when the blade pulls
across my skin
i feel heat
then relief
then the pain
when the pain comes
i scream loudly
i turn up the music
so you cant hear me
i just scream louder
the pain subsides
my screams turn to whispers
responding to the voices
in my head
telling me do it again
so i take out a lighter
i hold the flame
to my skin
untill it blackens
and red liquid drains
the voices say
turn the music louder
dont let them hear you
you deserve the pain
you know you do
and i know i do
i deserve pain
excruciating pain
i need it so bad
i crave it so much
as i pull the blade across again
toxicity ryan adams
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/attacker-2/