It was not that you were unkind
you were kind
and you reached out to me

but kindness was not my need
because too many,
one too many
had reached in that way before
held sway for a time
and then left
or fluttered away
like a summer butterfly

so kindness is suspect
has to be tested
put through little trials
where I would offer you
cold stares
and look away
ignoring you
now
smiling then
ignoring you once again
meantime
trying to find out about
your past beaus
your last lover

I googled you
over and over again
trusting only
my computer
and people who knew people
who claimed to know people
you knew

and then that done
there was only me
and only you;
me wanting you to demonstrate-
no overcome-
my doubts
while I watched and waited
waited to see how long you
would stay sincere
how long it would take me
to trust
that you were trustworthy
and then
I panicked when you showed
discouragement and didn't call
didn't show the same enthusiasm
saw you looking at other girls
but I couldn't tell
if it was me
having discouraged you
or you reverting to type,
that type that
gives the big rush
looking for the easy conquest
and quickly got bored
and then looked on for easier ones

Teens and twenties.
Hell.

Lonnie Hicks

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/teens-and-twenties/