I do not know why I do this
Why I cheat on myself
By cheating on you.

Why do I make committments
That I cannot fulfill
Because I never committed myself to you.

Why do I dream of someone as twilight draws on
When I know my dreams will never come true
Because I am just another dream you saw.

Why do I take pleasure in those secret meetings
When I know the pleasure will dull out
Because of the pain I cause you.

Why do I make myself known to another
When I should be only knowing you
Because you have known only me.

And though I am always running away from you
Why at the end of it all
I am always running back to you.

And yet I just can’t figure it out
Why I cheat on myself
By cheating on you!

Aneesha Myles

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/why-461/