Paddy staggered home one night
Been drinking out with Mick
He knew that making noises might
Wake his wife real quick

So he got his shoes undone
And left them on the stair
Then he tiptoed and begun
Climbing up with care

But he tripped and swivelled fell
Landing on his Butt
Broke his bottles, did not yell
He kept his big mouth shut

Problem was the broken glass
Landed under him
Then he felt his bleeding ass
‘Twas feeling pretty grim

He dropped his pants trying not to fall
He checked to see the hurt
In the mirror of the hall
By lifting up his shirt

He opened up the Band Aid box
Stuck plasters to the wound
Then he climbed up in his socks
Went to bed and swooned

In the morning Paddy felt
Sore both head and tail
Saying nowt of how he smelt
And looking wan and pale

His wife said, “You were drinking Pat
So don’t you try denying.”
“How can you say a thing like that
Where could you have been prying? ”

“Well maybe it was broken glass
Scattered on the floor
Or the bloodstains on your ass
Your bleeding eyes, what’s more

And I can see you’ve had a fall
But Band Aids that you placed
On the mirror in the hall
Tell me that you’re shit-faced! ”

Chris Higginson
2nd Provocative Verse

Christopher Higginson

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/paddy-and-mick-were-drinking/