Introductory explanation

Twice this week I have been asked 'Why don't boys carry umbrellas? ' Here is an attempt (several attempts, actually) to answer the question. Being male myself I think I am qualified to try to answer the question; I will attempt the onerous task of trying to answer for every boy who does not carry an umbrella, and there are very few boys who do.
I stumbled across a poem of this type earlier today, in a book called 'Considering Poetry'; the poem in question was called 'Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackboard'; I have just found it on the site; it is by Wallace Stevens. That was the inspiration for the style; but the poem has been floating around my consciousness since I was asked the question this morning (for the second time in three days) , and that was the inspiration for the poem itself.

Why Don't Boys Carry Umbrellas?

I

Because we don't mind getting wet.

II

Because we can't be bothered to obtain an umbrella even if we do mind getting wet.

III

Because girls carry umbrellas.

IV

Because it doesn't occur to us that we might need an umbrella even though we know it's going to rain.

V

Because it's one more thing for us to think about and if we think too much our brains will explode.

VI

Because we can't multitask – we can't walk and carry an umbrella at the same time (or won't) .

VII

Because we don't think that if it's raining and we walk through the rain we're going to get wet.

VIII

Because boys will be boys.

IX

But most of all, we don't carry umbrellas because we don't mind getting wet.

(Wednesday,2nd November,2005.)

David Mitchell

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/why-don-t-boys-carry-umbrellas/