If you like the smell of bananas or cocaine then you should really get to Germany ASAP, because police there uncovered about 140 kgs of Colombian waffle powder in a shipment of bananas. The crates were rerouted in Hamburg where, police assume, a mixup sent the cocaine to several Berlin grocery stores and several crates of Chiquita Primo to some very pissed off traffickers. Wouldn't want to be the guy who had to tell them the white stuff in the boxes was just potassium-rich, farm fresh produce. Yikes!

The police took away all the cocaine but didn't say what they did with the bananas which had been used to hide the drugs. After nine thousand miles together in a crate, don't you think a little bit of gutter glitter might have shaken off on those long yellow things? If any of you Germans out there notice you suddenly can't stop scarfing down bananas, consider that you might have accidentally purchased a bunch from the "special batch."

Police in Berlin said that such a huge volume of cargo passes through Hamburg, with most of it staying there for less than a day, that it is basically impossible for them to scan everything for illegal contraband. Really? Thanks for the tip! Next time I'm ordering a ton of Florida Snow with a dozen Nigerian prostitutes on the side, I'll make sure to tell them to use Hamburg port. Now it's just a matter of coming up with the six million euros that the banana shipment was worth and we should be good to go!

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