Find the best financial services for you at: SMARTFINANCESOLUTIONS.NET - Girl needing guidance from more experienced women to decipher post-breakup confusion!!!!!? - (I apologize in advance for the length...I tend to ramble when I'm emotional!)

I'm young--18--and my recent ex was my first boyfriend. We were together for a little over two years and he truly was my first love. He was my world, my everything... until he wasn't. In the space of two weeks, two years of happiness unraveled and I broke things off. We didn't fight and neither of us cheated or did anything horrible to the other. I just felt numb. Easily annoyed. NOT in love. After about two weeks of being absolutely unable to function and physically ill, I started to think that maybe--just maybe--I was going to get through this and that I had made the right decision.

But if that's true, why do I miss him so much? I've heard that you can miss having that person to cuddle up to and tell about your life and that certainty that there's always somebody there. How can I tell if it's that or if I miss HIM?

I'm also dealing with a particularly hefty helping of guilt. Like I said before, there was no foul play on either side, so I essentially ended a long-term relationship with a perfectly wonderful guy because I stopped feeling. I also hate that this is hurting him so much! Even if I don't love him anymore, I still care. We were friends for a few years, then together for two, and I can't just erase those feelings!

When I brought up that I didn't feel quite the same anymore, he wanted to work on it. I agreed eagerly. After all, things had been going great up until that point... or had they? A conversation with a friend and my mother showed me that, at least at that moment, what I truly wanted was to break up.

I keep telling myself that it was the best thing for me and, in fact, about 90% of the time I am positive that it was. I know that I need to figure out who I am. This is the end of my first year in college at a top 20 school and dealing with that stress plus the loss of my family's business, bankruptcy, having to have them move away, my own suicidal depression, and a death in the family... Well, let's just say I've had to grow a lot. And I think we just grew apart. His views started to nag-- complaining about how unhappy his dad is in a $300k/yr position while my dad lost literally everything and is scrounging to put food on the table, etc. Our views suddenly split so radically. Plus there was always the issue that he was a staunch atheist and I am Christian. Not a bible-thumper, but practicing. Anyway, is it possible for two people who were once so close to just grow in different directions?

I guess what I'm looking for here is some insight from women who have a bit more experience under their belts than I do. I appreciate any comments whatsoever. Do you think I did the right thing? How do I tell if I'm wrong? Etc., etc... -