Rabbi Noah Muroff of New Haven Connecticut recently bought a desk on Craigslist. While moving the desk into his house, the Rabbi and his wife removed the drawers to try and fit the thing through a narrow doorway. Unexpectedly, the desk wasn't completely empty when they bought it, and after removing the drawers they discovered a small plastic bag full of $100 dollar bills. They counted the money, which totaled over $98,000 dollars. Being moral individuals, they quickly returned the money to the woman who sold them the desk. In the intervening period, all they did was take a couple pictures of the money on the desk before taking it back.

Or did they? If you left me in a room with $98 thousand dollars in cash and gave me an hour, oooh... I'd have big ideas for that money. You could freeze it and then make a chain of $100 dominos! Or, you could cover yourself in hot tar and roll in it! You could play baseball with bound up balls of money and watch them explode as they impact your bat! Make a suit of $100 bills and shoot a rap video! But in all seriousness, that is a lot of money to return without even stripping down to your underwear and making it rain like its payday in Pimpsville. They seriously didn't even cover the stairs in money and break out the bobsled? Not even for a moment did the Rabbi or his wife consider throwing it all on a trampoline and letting the kids have a hop-on while recording the cash bouncing in slow motion to a Pink Floyd soundtrack? Unacceptable! If I were them I would march myself straight back to that lady and demand to borrow the cash again until I at least had a chance to take a picture of myself about to bite a two foot tall Dagwood sandwich made of greenbacks. It's a travesty of justice I tells ya!

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