Frank J. Short Jr. stands accused of throwing semen on a girl in short shorts as she stood about in Walmart. It is unclear where Mr. Short got his name, but in no time flat he was able to come up with spunk in hand, which he maliciously tossed at the girl's posterior. Like a real pro-perv he then rushed off pretending to have important business to attend to, but then circled around and proceeded to chase the poor girl around the store until Walmart employees came to her aid. After coming up with a litany of excuses for why he had to fling his wad without so much as a "Hello", Short eventually confessed he did it just because he thought she was hot. He also confessed to be the mastermind behind two near-ass-smacking incidents over the last 12 months. One in a Kmart and the other in a Walmart.

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