Facebook privacy settings seem like they're always trying to nudge you into doing something you don't want to do, like the boyfriend who keeps suggesting you kiss your drunk friend. Sure, you can say "No, Facebook, I mean it. Don't show my summer 2010 beach photo with the really bad cameltoe to my coworkers." and Facebook is all like, "Ok, ok. I hear ya." Then a couple months later, there it is, right on the bulletin board next to the refrigerator cleaning rotation and that ad for Tim's used mower, even though he hasn't worked here for 2 years. WTF?! you exclaim, in capital letters, and somebody says "Oh yeah, privacy settings changed again. Nice camel clomper."

Now private profiles are on the chopping block. Pretty soon only people who you block or who block you specifically will be unfindable. For example, Tim blocked everybody in the office after we filled his car with foam peanuts, and set his profile to private so we couldn't private-message pictures of peanuts to him anymore. But if I just create a new profile, typie typie, search bar... and here we go! Mr. Peanut himself and all his deets. Oh look at that, Tyler's in his profile picture and looking healthy! I guess he beat that cancer. Lets just send a private message, congratulations, Tyler looks great, sorry we had your house SWATed, yours truly, George Washington Carver. Send...

Oh a reply...
"Tyler died last August you insensitive ass. I'm reporting this profile, stay the hell away from me!"

And blocked again... not a problem. Just need a new profile, and ready for round two!

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